Well, I am sitting here thinking of how to put into words what I am feeling and it isn't easy. Considering I like to refer to myself as a writer I am not comfortable being at a loss of words. I hope you enjoy the pictures of my new prosthesis and that you can take a moment to appreciate the depth of my feelings as well as the hope I carry in my heart for what the future will hold for me using this new leg. This is my 6th limb since becoming an amputee in the fall of 87' and I am very glad to say that I really believe that this time it will be not only comfortable to sit in and do things I never could with the other 5. Important things like wearing it UNDER my clothing, sitting and the first ever of driving while still wearing it.
Think for a moment about how inconvenient it would be to have take off the prosthesis every time you sat down because it was just not possible to sit down with the pelvic band. The way my stump is so small it would slip out of the socket anyway, so even if I wanted to, sitting and getting back up were not possible. That is the main reason I chose for many painful years to sit in my wheelchair and forego any desire to try to walk. Thankfully the area of prosthetics has evolved and the materials used to fashion artificial limbs with are lighter and much more durable. Thus allowing the amputee to have greater comfort and hope for returning to a independent, functional quality of living.
I have had to do that from a wheelchair for the majority of the 13 years I've been an amputee and I have always said, "I feel less disabled in the chair then I ever did on the leg." I think that I will no longer be able to say that after I adjust to the idea of having the prosthesis do the work entirely and learn to manipulate it so I can sit and get up without making too much of a fuss about it. The advancements made in the liners of sockets has left me out in the cold because I don't have enough stump to benefit from it. This is not to say that I am not fascinated by these new advancements, I am, but it is hard not feel frustrated that I cannot use them myself.
So I stood on it today and almost fell, but the prosthetist and his partner caught me and urged me to use the walker. It is hard not to cry in frustration during a first fitting when you've been waiting so long to stand there in that office. I have been here five times previously and each was a different experience. I really want to take a moment to thank Gregg Kidder, his partner Roman and Tracy. I know it is far from being the final visit where I walk out triumphantly after the cover is on, but I wanted you to know I appreciate your kindness and support. I hope that others are inspired by my pages here and that they seek out prosthetic assistance for relief from living with a bad fitting limb or no limb at all.
I know I will take every opportunity to sing your collective praises. Thank you. Because of you Greg, I have real hope of achieving what I haven't before; dignified freedom from using my wheelchair and the chance to get back in shape before it's too late. That is the reason for allowing the world to see my progression. I think it is important to show the before and how you came to the after. I mean, looking down the line in a few years I could be anywhere, doing anything. Depends on what I do now and later. If I give up on walking, give up on myself, I would eventually lose the right leg from not eating right and getting proper exercise. But if I make this leg work for me, change my eating habits enough to improve my health, continue to stay nicotine free (1 month and counting) I will be happy and probably be able to reverse my chances of developing diseases that run in my family.
The woman you see here on my web site is REAL and not paid for what is being said. I want to give back to the world and inspire others as I have been so inspired.
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